tópico do desafio

[TheKingGamerBr 1840]

Dia 6

[Desafiante 117]

19 horas atrás, Lucas5k disse:

Dia #19 , minha resposta bugou

Editado Outubro 31, 2015 às 22:04 por Desafiante

[Lucas5k 1]

Dia 6

 

Tô com vontade de cair. Acho que não vai ter um dia 7 pra mim amanhã

[planeta 5553]

A one year streak: a report of my findings and successes. (Long Post) (self.NoFap)

submitted 15 hours ago * by AmorbulousCras368 days

My story is not one of those great stories. It was full of darkness, and I had so many chances to throw it all away and turn back. And yet I got to 1 year, and my new day has come. This might get ranty, but I will try my best.

First, I just want to state my background and beliefs so you understand where I am coming from. I got addicted to PMO when I was about 12 or 13. I am 22 now, meaning that this addiction has been my bane for about 10 years. Regarding addiction - there are some that fap that might not be addicted, I don't know. All I do know is that I have an addictive personality and PMO became a huge problem for me. This journey was to rid myself of this addiction, and everything else was a bonus, and that tone will be reflected in this report. This is all on hard mode. What follows are my observations on what worked.

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Most importantly, you need to find your reason to fight or you will get nowhere.

• I recognize that everything that follows sounds like I'm a lunatic if you are not 100% committed to overcoming your addiction (if you even believe that you have one).

• My reason is very complicated, but I'll shortly touch on it. After many years of fapping, I would get terrible pain when peeing as well as these terrible penile cramps. That pain wasn't my reason though; one of the reasons was because the pain would not motivate me to stop. Even if it brought physical pain I still would fap. That was shameful, and was the blaring alarm that I actually heeded. How disgusting, how stupid, and how terrible am I because it got to that. To me, PMO was a huge chain that was dragging me down. I was not in control of myself anymore. Also, my conception of women was terribly skewed: I had a certain hate for them because it felt like they held all the power over us with sex. When I saw anyone of the female sex (literally any woman), all I thought about was banging them. That was stupid and disgusting. I couldn't take them seriously, and I was doing a disservice to women everywhere. I was trapped and I needed help. After a certain point I hated myself. I was a hypocrit and was struggling to stay afloat in the demanding world. I had to change, and I had to free myself. I vowed to rid myself of this terrible sin (I had religious reasons too).

• Get angry with yourself frequently. In my weakest points, the thing that saved me was to simulate a relapse in my mind and then berate that simulated self. I would recall the worthless feelings I had, the hate, and the self delusion. I didn't want that anymore.

• As you can probably tell, I have very strong feelings about myself. I don't know how strong they have to be to succeed, but you will find something to drive you forward. Why do I think that? Well...

---

You need to replace PMO with something else. PMO is not the problem, it's just a terrible solution that you found to another problem. Figure out what that underlying problem is and devote all of your energies to fighting/solving it. You don't have to worry much about PMO if you got the correct focus.

• The best way to do that is to replace PMO is to find a hobby or what you are passionate about. I believe that in the beginning, your brain is broken enough that doing this is impossible. Survive about 40 days and you should be good, that's how long it took me. In the meantime, read, exercise, and figure yourself out (remember, figure out the underlying problem PMO is solving if you don't know it).

• To help you figure out what your underlying problem is, here are some that seem rather common: loneliness, jealousy, and worthlessness.

• I have several post it notes above my desk that describe what I want in life. Do that. Quantify your dreams and feelings.

• I vowed to become a modern gentleman as well. I felt I needed to make it up to the ladies for what I've done and the thoughts I've had about them.

---

There is only one way to fight PMO: Discipline. Motivation is fleeting, why rely on it? Discipline is the only way to win. I started with about none. I had to build up that discipline with doing other things, like an investment. Here's what I did that worked:

• Cold showers - readily available for everyone and a very good way to build up your discipline. Furthermore, the cold water will destroy your urges. I strove to do them every day unless there was no shower available. How do you gauge a cold shower? I would gauge my cold showers by checking my scrotum. If it didn't shrink from the cold, then the shower wasn't cold enough. Simple as that.

• No touching the penis unless going to the bathroom or in the shower. I had the unconscious habit of having my hands near my penis or in my pants when they were idle. Also, electronics were not allowed in the bathroom. If it was on my person, it stayed in the pockets. Bathroom breaks are supposed to be short, you can check your texts or surf the web later.

• Meditate frequently and have some time set aside to analyze the recent past. The mind needs silence, so try to do it in silence.

• One of the hardest ones - stop all dirty thoughts, do not indulge them. You can't control when they show up, however you can control what happens when they do show up. Don't try to resist them, that gives them power in your mind. Instead, receive them and then dismiss them. I would dismiss them with thoughts like: "that's nice, but it will never happen to me the way I am now" or "whatever. I'm imagining things." Things like that. You don't invite trick or treaters into your house, you open the door, give them something super quick and send them away. They won't bug you after that.

• Remember to humble yourself! You are not the center of the universe, and most people only think about how other people perceive them, not anyone else. Furthermore you are not a sex beast, and throw away all thoughts of how good in bed you would be. Be honest with yourself, you are broken. Fix yourself first and don't pay any heed to others. Self delusion is even worse.

• Internet blockers are stupid. There is always a way around it and even then it just skirts around the issue. You need self control, because once you get to a computer that doesn't have the blocker, you are done for when the urges come. Just don't even consider it, setting it up is more time on the computer that you can relapse.

---

For some people its really hard to get started with discipline. Personally I was really far gone when I started and was having trouble even starting. I couldn't stop thinking about sex, and my environment wasn't helping things. For people like me, it is necessary to take the No Arousal approach (only for a little bit). Basically, this is what happens:

• It's almost like you go into 'rehab' and remove most temptations from the equation so its easier for you to work on yourself. When you are stronger, you can add more in. There's a reason monks seclude themselves. It's really hard to focus and work on yourself when there are so many other distractions.

• In this day and age, the world will not help you overcome PMO. Avoid as much as you can of it.

• Personally, I avoided the internet for two weeks. For some this is impossible, but I waited until I had a school break. At the very least, before you go on the internet find a specific (repeat: not vague) reason to go on it and once you have done whatever you needed to do: get off. It sounds so simple, and yet it can be so hard.

• Change the music you listen to. Listen to nothing explicit or anything that will arouse you. Personal experience has also led me to avoid things with heavy bass, but that is just personal (and I have no idea why this is the case). Find something calming, or if you don't like any of that, listen to background/ambient noise likeraindrops or something.

• Change what you watch. Watch nothing with a sex scene or nudity. If you can't do it, watch nothing at all. Honestly, I think you should just stay away from this one in general. I have become very critical of trash like that, there are so many better things to watch.

• Stay away from video games with romantic routes to them. It will only serve to tempt you.

• You are not David, but you are certainly against a Goliath. In the beginning, run away and get stronger. Then you can face your enemy.

---

Speaking of enemies, you also need to know who your enemy is. By taking part in NoFap, you are pitting your mind and soul against the toughest enemy you will ever face, your body.

• The body is your toughest enemy because it knows you better than your mind does. It is clever, it is dastardly, and it will give you no quarter. You can't give it any quarter back. Any thoughts of being tired or giving up come from the body. Do not listen to it. This is where discipline will save you.

• The best way to fight it is to learn about yourself as much as you can. Something I still struggle with is using that information to win, but that is something you must do. Be viscious! Fight your body tooth and nail.

• Set goals for yourself logarithmically. What I mean by that is to start really small, and then as you succeed at the little things, make them bigger and bigger. My first goal was 3 days, then a week, then two weeks, then a month, then three months/90 days, and then a year. Now I will shoot for three years, still on hardmode. I will continue until I marry. You don't have to follow my goal setting exactly, you might have to start at a week, or two days, or one day, or maybe even 12 hours. To me, I would relapse at least once every three days (at LEAST(terrible, right?)), so that's why I set my first goal at 3 days.

• Never despair, always keep moving forward, even if you get a setback. It is so important to keep putting one in front of the other. As hokey as this video is, it helps. If you relapse, just keep going forward. The only reason to look back at your failure is to learn from it.

• Have several mantras. These are quick phrases that will remind you of your struggle and why you fight. "Put one foot in front of the other" was one of mine. Some others of mine were: "Body, I will destroy you", "I am in charge", "DIE URGES, DIE!", "Why would I want to return to my old self?", "I will be reborn", and "I will become better than this!".

• Use cognitive dissonance to your advantage, but tread carefully. Become a hypocrit, deny PMO openly and treat it as disgusting. Make everyone think you would never do PMO. When the dissonance comes, you must choose the path that leads away from PMO or it will backfire. As you move forward and succeed little by little, you will become less and less of a hypocrit. In the end you will be free... and a better person because of it.

• Cry. Seriously. Remove the thought that you need to be a manly man. It's ok to cry and it will serve to keep you on the right path. And if its embarrassing, it will only strengthen your resolve. You know, it can actually strengthen your resolve regardless of how you feel, depending on how you look at crying.

• On that note, think of this: Every man is called to be a warrior. But some of us can't fight or are too weak to fight, so does that mean some of us can't meet that calling? WRONG. I am physically weak. I don't grow muscle like some, and I'm not fit for physical labor. I am warrior of the mind, and I think that's the calling that we have as men. Integrity and honor. There are many arenas we fight in.

• In the beginning I also frequently consulted the wisdom of the nofap panic button (emergency sub-botton), even if it wasn't an emergency. It helps keep you going straight and it potentially keeps that varying motivation high.

• Some of you might think I have taken things to the extreme. But this is how far I had to take it triumph over myself. Who knows how far you will go. Again this is a report on my struggle and what worked, NOT a guide to follow exactly. Everyone is different. Our struggles are personal, do what you need to do to win, not what others have. But definitely draw inspiration where you need it.

---

Just want to touch on my religious component. If you are not religious, or Christian, please skip this. What you need to hear here is pray to the Mother of God, the Theotokos. Akathists to her really help. Pray to her faithfully, ask her for intersessions to the lord to give you strength against PMO, and she will answer your prayers. A good saint to pray to is St. Mary of Egypt, who was a prostitute that would refuse payment for sexual acts because she was insatiably driven by lust. If she was able to overcome her great passion, then so can we. Pray to her as well.

I must thank the Theotokos and all the Saints for their intersessions on my behalf to overcome this. Furthermore, I have to thank God for seeing it right to save a pitiful soul like me.

---

Finally, just what will you get out of this? I'm sure this is the part you are most interested about reading: the 'superpowers' I got from going through NoFap. I disagree, what you think are superpowers are not actually superpowers. We are so depraved when we start that we forget what being normal, well adjusted people is like. In fact, if you come out of this, you will be better than the average person. Developing discipline is a good skill that will help you do anything. Face the truth and develop humility and that will change your whole outlook on life for the better. These things might only result in subtle changes, but people will certainly pick up on it.

This post was a labor of love. I love you guys. Obviously not in a sexual way, its a love that you will understand as you succeed with further streaks: an empathetic love. I understand what you are going through. For some of us, the journey is tough. I shed many tears along the way. It's not going to be easy, steal yourselves! But i hope I was able to make it even one iota easier with this report. There is more stuff that is in the comments, be sure to check them out.

Finally, some quotes from people much smarter than I: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. See a pattern here? Some more: 7, 8.

Ok, that's it for now. This report is dedicated to the chat group that I belong to, Warriors, who have kept it together and continue to struggle together for about a year. They truly helped me along, and I hope to help them along with this report. I also have to thank the NoFap community, because you made me realize that this wasn't impossible. It was shortly after I found this subreddit and joined my chat group that I actually succeeded. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Actually, one last thing: To those of you that like to just read NoFap posts to feel better about yourself, at least admire our struggle. I don't know what your beliefs are regarding us, and you won't understand us unless you are doing it but we are trying to change ourselves for the better, and that is definitely something you can understand and admire.

EDIT 1: bah humbug, messed up the formatting. Should be fixed now. EDIT 2: Made it easier to read and fixed typoes.

tldr; read the post if you actually care about NoFap, you lazy butt.

[lukinhabsb 5]

Dia 4.

 

Ta foda, mas tô sempre tentando ocupar minha mente com coisas que não ativem gatilhos mentais para o fap.

[planeta 5553]

 

[planeta 5553]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo25eFqvR3o

[planeta 5553]

aff acabai de cair com 27 dias

 

lol

[Buldoguii 551]

One

[Brachio 1035]

@planeta Poo man, nem te conheço mas (sem dramatizar mto a parada) deu uma tristeza ler que tu caiu. Bola pra frente djow, tente se ligar que vc NÃO PRECISA daquilo, é tudo jogo da sua cabeça, e resistindo ao fap vc vai trazer pra vc mto mais benefícios do que fapando, vc ta ligado já.